What's a Personal Ceremony?

A personal ceremony is one that’s created just for you, your needs, your wishes. Maybe you have something to release and you want to do it in a profound and important way. Have a ceremony!

There are two recent situations that have come up that are great examples of out-of-the-box ceremonies that resulted in healing and happiness. One was created to clear emotional and physical abuse from the psyche and to clear the way for a new loving relationship. What a great event!

Another situation had to do with healing and re-bonding an entire family. A client came to me dreading a family reunion that was to occur the following month. She told me that it seemed as if every time her relatives would get together, there would be bickering, back stabbing, dredging up the past, and hateful comments.

I’m sure you know what I’m talking about - if it hasn’t happened in your family, it’s happened to someone you know or you’ve seen it on TV. Have you ever noticed when you’re watching a family squabble on TV it’s funny, but when it happens to you it’s not?

So, she HAD to go to this family reunion or she’d never hear the end of it (you know how that goes as well, I’m sure).

I asked for a great deal of information so that I could get to the core of the situation and create a ceremony that everyone would take part in, not be too far out, be meaningful, not offensive, yet accomplish the desired results. She wanted everyone to get along and to appreciate each other.

There was one more ingredient. The reunion was several states away and I would not be able to be present. No problem. The solution was a conference room and a speaker phone.

I produced a forgiveness and an appreciation ceremony based on Ho’oponopono and the Burning Bowl. Did it work? Rather than take my word of “Yes, it was a huge success,” let me copy here a note I received from one of the relatives:

Dear Rev. Phran,

Thank you for taking the time out of your weekend to conduct that ‘cleansing experience.’ My wife and I found it very helpful to ‘erase our blackboard.’ It truly rounded out the celebration for the family! We really appreciate the time, effort, and leadership you gave to us and our family. God bless you!

Sincerely,
Ron & Debbie S.

Whatever you would like to celebrate, clear, cleanse, release, or forgive, I can write a personal ceremony about it for you – which is a perfect way to mark the event with a positive and momentous experience!

Burning Bowl

Burning Bowl is a releasing ceremony that could be done at any time, at the completion of a year or during a prenuptial party. Simply put, you write down what you want to release and you burn the paper.

Too simple?

Think about that for a moment. You travel through life, day after day, and sooner or later you’re going to do something that you wished you hadn’t, or you develop a habit that is now annoying, or you hold a grudge, or you hurt someone or yourself. Personally, I don’t have to think too long to find something that I wish wasn’t a part of me, my thinking pattern, my life, or my personality.

Granted, writing something down and burning up the paper is not going to physically do much more than making a pile of ashes. But, symbolism carries a mighty punch: shaking hands, giving a hug, waving a whole hand, or just one finger. They’re all symbols that lead you to feel a certain way.

In order to write something down on this paper, you have to think about what you want to release. What bugs you about yourself? You’ll never know if you don’t stop and think. And don’t give me that “I don’t want to stop and I don’t want to think” routine! If you don’t take out the garbage your house is going to smell. If you don’t clear out your mind occasionally, your thoughts will stink as well.

So, the first part of the process is to stop and quiet yourself, pull in your energies and breathe consciously. This is also called “centering.” You’re not doing any thinking yet, you’re settling in and preparing yourself. No thinking yet, just breathing and being quiet. You may want to close your eyes or play some soft music to help you relax and gather your thoughts.

Take your time. Let me repeat that. Take your time. You have all the time there is. If you’re rushing, one of your problems may be rushing. Give yourself a break. No pushing, pulling, kicking or screaming either.

Do you want to be calmer? Want more patience? Release what makes you frustrated. Want more happiness? Release what makes you sad. Some days you have to decide to be happy and not leave it to chance. If you get upset, choose again.

When you think of something that you don’t want to do, or have, or be anymore, write that item down on your paper. Go on to the next thought and write that down.Take whatever time you need. This is your time for you.

The next step is to actually burn the paper. Only burn the paper – not your fingers, sleeve, table or house. Choose a safe receptacle in a safe place, preferably outside. Have water ready or a wet towel in case of an accident.

As you light the paper mentally release the thoughts that are written. Give yourself another chance to make amends, to be a little different, to grow and expand in wisdom and integrity. Make sure the paper is completely burned and the fire is out before you walk away.

No, burning the paper will not make you better, richer, taller or thinner. What it will do is to help you bring to mind what would benefit you to change in your life. You can’t rectify anything that you won’t acknowledge. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result.

Finally, go celebrate! You’ve done some very good work. Congratulate yourself. You are your own best friend. Treat yourself kindly and say nice things to the person looking back at you every morning in the mirror. The Burning Bowl ceremony could be performed singly, in a group setting, by itself, combined, or within another ceremony.

Live life to the fullest. It's yours to enjoy.

Pink and Lime Green Wedding Inspiration

Inspiration ideas for an outdoor ceremony in the summer.

What is necessary in a marriage ceremony?

Since we’re only talking about the ceremony itself, we’ll not go into the legal aspects. That’s another blog.

What is actually necessary is for the man to want to marry that woman, for the woman to want to marry that man and to agree for it to happen right then. That’s it. The rest of it is fluff.

That means that you get to have the whole, entire ceremony exactly as you want to have it. Fluff means you can play with “the rules”. You can be as solemn, as dignified, as creative and unique as you wish; even inject humor! Your only limits are if you belong to a particular church, religion, or sect that has specific rituals or wording that must be adhered to in the rules of that organization.

When you plan your own wedding ceremony, you can have a favorite person do a reading, sing or play a song, write your own meaningful vows, incorporate other ceremonies with the service (see my list under “Additional Ceremonies”), do a dance, release birds or balloons, have a theme wedding and include costumes for the bridal party or for everyone.

If you’re not sure of what you want you may have an idea of what you don’t want. Fine! Work from that end. It’s nice to take other people’s desires into consideration but on your wedding day YOU come first.

The most important thing to remember is to seek a minister who is willing to work with you. Maybe you want lots of prayers or maybe you don’t want any prayers. Every person has their own viewpoint, including the minister, but it should not infringe on yours. After all it’s YOUR wedding and above all you want it to reflect your tastes, wishes and desires.

I strongly suggest meeting the minister face to face in a personal consultation or at least speaking with them on the phone to see if you’re compatible. You always have options and you always have choices. Choose the minister you want to say the “magic words” to pronounce you husband and wife.

Vineyard Themed Wedding

This is an inspiration board I created for a Vineyard themed Wedding. Purple and green make perfect colors for this wedding ideally held during summer.

Casino Themed Wedding

I keep thinking about fun wedding ideas and there is one that continues to stick out in my mind: a Casino Themed Wedding.

For a wedding with this theme I would suggest using black and red colors. This color combination can be classic looking for the ceremony and still fit the themed reception.

I found two invitations that would perfectly invite guests to join in a fun-filled evening.

Create a fun entrance so that when guests arrive at the reception they will instantly be in the mood to have fun and celebrate with the happy couple.

Awe guests with a cake that not only fits the theme of the wedding, but serves as a unique focal point as well.

Give guests the opportunity to play the night away by renting casino equipment such as poker, blackjack, roulette, and craps tables and/or set up slot machines.

Also offer guests a seperate area for dancing the night away.

Serve a buffet of hor'deouvers to fuel the night and have a bar that serves drinks to enhance fun throughout the night.

Ceremony of Champions

This is a good example of how a ceremony can be written to celebrate any occasion, an accomplishment, or any life-affirming event.

Priscilla (fictitious name) had been through chemo, radiation, a double mastectomy, and reconstructive surgery - and had become cancer free! Her friends and family wanted to celebrate her, her struggles, her life and her victories. They had been there for her, cried, laughed, baked bread, brought food, watched movies, and prayed.

At the same time, all of them had walked through their own fires of hell at some point in their lives, separately and together. In considering such a ceremony, it also caused everyone involved to internally reflect on what they had overcome to achieve their own personal victories in life, and they realized in their hearts that they were all champions, because they had gotten through those challenges and grown from them. They all needed - and deserved - to be appreciated and celebrated! A place was chosen, a date was set. Each person was asked to bring a small symbol of themselves or their accomplishments.

That night, when all were assembled, we opened with a prayer of gratitude for everyone present. One by one, each person in turn came to the “altar” to place their symbol and tell their story. Many tissues were passed among the circle.

We entered into a guided meditation in preparation for the Burning Bowl, to help reveal the next blocks that each person needed to release in order to move on to the next phase of their life. After the meditation, the obstacles were recorded on paper, taken outside, and placed in the fire as a sign of willingness to let go of fears, frustrations, and self criticisms.

The group reassembled, with each person receiving the gift of a candle with a personal message. As each gift was opened, the message was shared, thoughts were shared, hugs were shared. Again, the tissues were passed around the circle.

The ceremony ended with a heartfelt prayer, but the celebration continued with food, drink, and camaraderie!

Life is to live, to experience, and to celebrate.